Escape to the Swiss Alps: Schnider's Cozy B&B & Cafe Awaits!
Escape to the Swiss Alps: Schnider's Cozy B&B & Cafe Awaits! - A Review From a Real Person (and My Rambling Thoughts)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from the Swiss Alps. And let me tell you, after navigating the labyrinth of airport security, battling jet lag that hits you like a rogue avalanche, and surviving the existential dread of being surrounded by majestic mountains… I needed a vacation from my vacation. And Schnider's Cozy B&B & Cafe? Well, it was a thing, alright. Let's dive in, because frankly, my brain is still processing the cheese.
(Metadata & SEO - Because Apparently, I'm a Professional Now)
- Keywords: Swiss Alps, B&B, Cafe, Schnider's, Switzerland, Mountain View, Spa, Wellness, Accessible, Wheelchair, Review, Travel, Switzerland Hotel, Luxury Stay, Cozy, Family Friendly, Restaurant, Internet, Wifi.
(Accessibility & Stuff That Just Makes Life Easier - Or Doesn't)
Okay, so, accessibility. I’m not personally in a wheelchair, but I did take a good look around. Wheelchair accessible they claim. And, judging by the elevator (thank God for that – the thought of hauling my luggage up those mountain steps… shudder), they seem to have tried. But listen, sometimes "tried" isn't enough. I saw some tight turns and a few potentially tricky thresholds. So, while it's listed as accessible, I'd recommend some serious investigation if you have mobility needs. Be sure to call ahead and ask detailed questions.
And for the rest of us who just want a break, the convenience store was a lifesaver. Late-night chocolate cravings? Check. Emergency Swiss Army Knife purchase (don't ask)? Double check. Facilities for disabled guests are also listed, but I’d again suggest a direct chat with the property to confirm the details.
(Internet & Staying Connected - Because We Can't Actually Disconnect, Can We?)
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Praise be! And it mostly worked. Look, the mountains are beautiful, but sometimes they play havoc with the signal. There was Internet access – wireless (obviously), and Internet access – LAN if you're old school. The connection was generally reliable, though I did experience a couple of moments when I was on the verge of throwing my laptop out the window. You know, just to feel something. Also, Wi-Fi in public areas worked well – important for those desperate Instagram updates.
(The Spa and Wellness Stuff - Ah, Bliss… Or Maybe Not?)
Alright, this is where things got interesting. The spa at Schnider's? It promised nirvana. Did it deliver? Well… mostly.
- The Pool with View: Absolutely stunning. Picture this: a crisp mountain breeze, the sun on your face, sipping something vaguely alcoholic… pure joy. But, and there's always a "but," sometimes it felt a little crowded.
- Sauna/Steamroom: The sauna was seriously hot, in a good way. The steamroom? I felt like I was inside a cloud. Glorious.
- Massage: I splurged on a massage. It started off feeling heavenly, then became a bit… intense. The therapist seemed to have the strength of a small bear! It was good, but brace yourself.
- Fitness center/Gym: I walked in, took one look at the equipment, and promptly walked out. Definitely not a gym for serious athletes, but fine for a light workout.
The body scrub and body wrap? Didn't try them. Maybe next time, when I’m braver. The foot bath sounded tempting, but time ran away with me.
(The Food Scene - Fueling the Adventure (and the Existential Dread))
Okay, the food. This is where Schnider's really shines.
- Breakfast was included, a buffet in the restaurant bursting with deliciousness, or a more relaxed breakfast takeaway service. The Western breakfast was a dream. But for those who are feeling more international, the Asian breakfast was also available.
- The restaurant itself offered both international cuisine and Western cuisine. I’m pretty sure I developed a cheese addiction. They had an A la carte in restaurant. The soup in restaurant was a lifesaver. There was also a vegetarian restaurant.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant was a constant source of comfort, especially after a long hike.
- The bar offered a decent selection, with Happy hour specials.
- There even was a Poolside bar, for peak relaxation.
- I devoured a salad in restaurant.
- There was a Snackbar, but I didn't go to it.
- The desserts in restaurant were, shall we say, a temptation.
Room service [24-hour]? Now that's what I'm talking about. Because sometimes you just need a plate of schnitzel at 2am, right? Or a bottle of water, available in all rooms.
Important note: They’ve got this whole Safe dining setup, with Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. And the staff is very aware of the Physical distancing of at least 1 meter. They really seem to be taking things seriously!
(Cleanliness and Safety - Feeling Safe (But Still a Tiny Bit Paranoid))
Alright, pandemic life. Schnider's took it seriously. They were serious about Cleanliness and safety:
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good to know.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Check.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Yay for freshness.
- Hygiene certification: Good credentials.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Makes you feel a little less anxious about the breakfast buffet.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Tried their best.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Phew.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Appreciated.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Reassuring.
- Safe dining setup: You get the idea.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Got it.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Also good.
- Sterilizing equipment: Sounds serious.
I will admit, though, the emphasis on hygiene made me feel a little neurotic. But hey, better safe than sorry, right?
(Services and Convenience - All the Little Things That Make a Difference (or Don't))
Schnider's offers a ton of services. Did I use all of them? Absolutely not. Did I appreciate them? Absolutely.
- Concierge: Super helpful.
- Cash withdrawal: Useful.
- Daily housekeeping: My room always looked spotless.
- Doorman: Welcomed me warmly, every time.
- Dry cleaning/Laundry service/Ironing service: Perfect for keeping your clothes looking good despite the mud and cheese stains.
- Luggage storage: Very convenient.
- Currency exchange: Useful.
- Food delivery: Sometimes you just don't want to leave your room.
- Meetings/Meeting/banquet facilities: Didn't use them, but they're there.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Convenient for last-minute present buying.
- Car Park: Free parking! Amazing.
- Airport transfer: They have one.
(For the Kids & Family Stuff)
Family/child friendly they proclaim. They have some Kids facilities and a Babysitting service. So basically, it's a good family place too.
(Getting Around - The Transportation Tango)
- Car park [free of charge]/Car park [on-site]: Free parking! Huge bonus in the Swiss Alps.
- Taxi service: Around.
- Airport transfer: They have it.
- Valet parking: If you really want to travel in style.
- Bicycle parking: For the active travelers.
- Car power charging station: For those who got one.
(In-Room Awesomeness (or Lack Thereof))
My room was… cozy. And by cozy, I mean it felt like a burrow. Here's the breakdown:
- Air conditioning/desk/desk: Good for working in the heat.
- Alarm clock: Always needed.
- Bathrobes/slippers: Excellent.
- Bathroom phone: Because you might need to call someone from the tub?
- Bathtub/Separate shower/bathtub: I took a long, hot bath and I felt like a new person.
- Blackout curtains: Essential for sleeping off the jet lag.
- Closet: Adequate.
- Coffee/tea maker/complimentary tea: Very, very welcome.
- Free bottled water: Always appreciate.
- Hair dryer: A lifesaver
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because planning a stay at Schnider Bed & Breakfast und Cafe in Vals, Switzerland is not just a trip, it's an experience. And let me tell you, this itinerary isn't going to be all perfectly color-coded maps and serene smiles. Nope. This is the real deal. Get ready for some Swiss cheese-filled chaos!
Schnider B&B & Cafe Vals: A Messy, Wonderful Week
(Day 1: Arrival & Altitude Adjustment (Mostly the latter))
- Morning (Or, Let's Be Honest, Mid-Afternoon): LAND! Zurich Airport. Okay, first hurdle: the flight. I'm not a good flyer. I'm pretty sure I aged a decade just from the turbulence over… well, somewhere. The only thing I remember about those hours is white knuckles and this unwavering fear of my own mortality. Grabbed that oversized suitcase that I swear weighs more than I do.
- Afternoon: Train to Vals. The Swiss trains, right? Ridiculously punctual. I mean, terrifyingly punctual. I had 30 minutes to locate my platform and I was certain I would fail, because, you know, me. But managed it. The scenery? Stunning. So much green. Cows with bells that actually jingle – it was like a cheesy movie montage, minus the romantic leads and plus my own anxious internal monologue.
- Late Afternoon: Arrive in beautiful, tiny Vals. Found the Schnider. It's a little… quirky. In the most charming way possible. The front door handle is wonky, the lobby still smells faintly of freshly baked bread (score!), and the owner, Heidi, is this whirlwind of energy with a laugh that could shatter glass. She’s already offered me coffee and homemade cake. I might cry. This place is perfect. Found my room. It's small, but cozy. That window view? Unreal. Mountain peaks for days. I think I'm going to be happy here.
- Evening: Attempt to wander around the tiny village. I got lost (shocking, I know). Ended up at a tiny church, which was beautiful. Then back to the B&B. Dinner at the Schnider Cafe. Heidi's cooking? Legendary. I'm convinced she uses magic. Ate way too much, and fell asleep before 9pm. Altitude is a beast, folks.
(Day 2: Therme Vals - My Personal Heaven (and Hell))
- Morning: Breakfast at the Schnider. The bread! The cheese! The… everything! Fuelled up for the day. Heidi told us about the Therme Vals. She said "You must go!" How could I argue?
- Late Morning/Afternoon: Therme Vals – The Architectural Wonder (and the Anxiety Factory): OK, so the Therme Vals. It’s stunning. Seriously, the architecture is mind-blowing. The water is the perfect temperature. The silence… terrifying! I'm a talker. I’m also slightly awkward. I spent the first hour convinced I was doing everything wrong. Should I be swimming? Standing? Meditating? I don't meditate! I'm picturing everyone else here thinking "Look at the noisy American! What a boor!" Took me ages to relax so I could actually enjoy it… (I’m pretty sure I still offended someone, though). Spent a good hour just floating, pretending I was a super-sophisticated water-nymph. Another hour just enjoying the water. Best afternoon of my life.
- Evening: Dinner at the B&B. I'm still buzzing from the Therme. Heidi gave me this recipe for Swiss cheese fondue. We tried and failed… Let's just say, it tasted delicious… but it required immediate window-opening to diffuse the fumes. Watched a movie and tried to relax. Failed.
(Day 3: Exploring Vals (and Almost Getting Lost… Again)
- Morning: Slept in! (Thank you, altitude). Breakfast in the cafe, same delightful routine. Heidi gave me a map, which I promptly folded incorrectly and got confused by. I'm hopeless with maps.
- Late Morning: Wandered around Vals. Tried to find the local church. The town is small and the views are vast. Found the trail and started walking and realized I might have been walking in the wrong direction… I was definitely walking in the wrong direction. Ended up at a tiny farm. The farmer's cows gave me the stink eye. Started walking back.
- Afternoon: Lunch at the B&B. Heidi's been teaching me how to make apple strudel. It was delicious… but a tad rustic.
- Evening: Explored the town, found the church, had dinner. Decided to head back to the B&B for an early night.
(Day 4: Hiking (and Questionable Decisions)
- Morning: Heidi, bless her heart, suggested a hike. She’s got to know my level of fitness. But, I said yes. Ate an enormous breakfast.
- Late Morning/Afternoon: Hiking. The Mountain Won: The hike started okay. The views were incredible. But I grossly underestimated the elevation. And my overall fitness level. I was gasping for air halfway up. My legs were screaming. My lungs were burning. I wanted to give up. I didn't. I was stubborn. I made it.
- Evening: Collapse in the B&B. Dinner was mandatory. I'm pretty sure I devoured everything in minutes. Heidi gave me a pep talk.
- Early Evening: Fall asleep again.
(Day 5: Relaxation & Repeat Experiences)
- Morning: Woke up to sunshine streaming into my room. Decided to go back the Therme Vals. I knew my way this time!
- Late Morning/Afternoon: Therme Vals: second time. No anxiety this time! Mostly just bliss. I could have stayed there all day.
- Evening: Dinner at the B&B, watching a local TV show. The Swiss are a delightful bunch of people.
(Day 6: Saying Goodbye (Sort Of)
- Morning: Another glorious breakfast. I don't want to leave!
- Late Morning: Last walk around. The town seemed much more familiar now. Took a silly amount of photos. Got a hug from Heidi.
- Afternoon: Prepare for the journey.
- Evening: Train to Zurich. Still in Switzerland. Not ready to say goodbye.
(Day 7: Departure - (and already planning my return!))
- Morning: Flight home.
- Afternoon: Home. I realized I miss Switzerland.
- Evening: Start planning my return to Vals.
This itinerary is probably not exactly what I did. I lost track of time I spent there and what I did. But it's pretty close. And that, my friends, is the messy, amazing reality of travel. Schnider B&B and Cafe in Vals? Highly recommended. Just pack your sense of humour, your love of cheese, and maybe a good book (though you probably won’t read it). You're going to have an incredible time. And if you see Heidi, tell her I said hello! And to keep baking those amazing cakes!
Johannesburg's Hidden Gem: Arum Place Guest House (Unbeatable Deals!)
Okay, spill the tea. Schnider's... worth the hype?
Alright, let's be real. The hype? It's there. Those picture-perfect photos? Yeah, they exist. But the *reality*? It's… complicated. Think of it less as a perfectly curated cheese fondue experience and more like a slightly tipsy, incredibly charming auntie trying to feed you everything in her fridge. Honestly, some days I *loved* it. Other days… let's just say I considered scaling a nearby alp to escape the "cozy" vibe. It swings wildly, depending on your tolerance for… well, humans. And schnitzel. Lots and lots of schnitzel.
The Cafe! Tell me about the food. Don't just say "delicious."
Okay, okay, "delicious" is accurate, but boring. The food at the cafe? It's like… Grandma's cooking, if Grandma had a serious passion for butter and was Swiss. Breakfast? Mountains of fresh bread, local jams that'll make you cry (in a good way, mostly), and enough muesli to feed a small army. Lunch? Hearty soups that warm you from the inside out after a freezing hike (and believe me, you will freeze). Dinner? Oh, the dinner. One night was a ridiculously massive roast chicken, and the next a cheese fondue so potent, I swear I saw little dancing gnomes afterward. There were hits and misses. The *sauce* with one steak thing? Utterly divine. The other steak? Tougher than my ex-boyfriend’s heart. But honestly? Even the misses were… memorable. In a "wow, I'm going to need a pepto bismol" kind of way, but still... memorable.
Is it truly "cozy"? Or just… small?
Cozy. Yes. Absolutely. But also… small. Think of a slightly oversized hobbit hole, but with more… shall we say, *spirited* decor. The rooms? Charming, yes, but not exactly sprawling. You'll likely hear your neighbor snoring. You'll *definitely* hear Frau Schnider clattering around in the kitchen at 6 AM, prepping for that breakfast bonanza. It's the kind of cozy where you *become* friends with everyone, whether you want to or not. My advice? Pack earplugs, a good book, and a healthy dose of acceptance for other people's farts. Because let's be honest, we've all been there. And it's cozy. Just… very, very close.
What about the Schniders? Are they… well, are they *crazy* in that endearing way?
Oh, the Schniders. Where do I even *start*? Herr Schnider? A gruff, but secretly sweet, mountain man who clearly *loves* to cook and grumbles a lot. He's the kind of guy who'd give you the shirt off his back… after he's complained for a solid fifteen minutes about it. Frau Schnider? A whirlwind of energy, a master of the kitchen, and the undisputed queen of the B&B. She speaks enough English to get by, but her intentions are golden. She has endless energy. She will call you 'Honey' about 6 times a minute. They're a unit. They argue a bit. She gives him the stink eye while he's trying to cook. It's their dynamic. You can't fake it. And yes, they *are* crazy. In the best possible way. They are the heart and soul of the place. It's what makes Schnider's… well, Schnider's. There was one night, I swear, she burst into the dining room in *full* dirndl, singing a yodeling song she'd clearly been practicing for days. The whole room erupted with laughter. It was pure, unadulterated joy. And yes, I was crying. Tears of laughter.
Okay, hiking. Is it doable for a wimp? (Asking for a friend…cough cough…me.)
Look, let's be honest. I'm a city gal. My idea of "exercise" is walking to the fridge. The hiking around Schnider's? It’s… varied. There are trails for the super-serious mountain goats, and then there are gentler, prettier walks. The scenery? Unbelievable. Jaw-dropping. Makes you want to weep with joy and the sheer beauty of it all. I did one hike that was labeled "Easy." It was not. It was uphill, the whole time. I nearly died. I contemplated giving up and becoming a permanent resident of the cafe. I cursed the Swiss and their deceptively pleasant hiking trail descriptions. But I persevered. And you know what? The view from the top? Worth every damn agonizing step. So, yes, it’s doable for a wimp. Just, maybe, start with the shortest hike first. And bring snacks. Lots and lots of snacks.
What's the wifi situation? Because, let's face it... Instagram.
Ah, the modern dilemma. Wifi. It exists. Barely. Think of it like a shy, reclusive mountain goat: present, but easily spooked. It's spotty. It's slow. You’ll probably spend more time staring at the buffering symbol than actually uploading your stunning alp-based content. This is actually a *blessing in disguise*. Embrace the digital detox. Look up from your phone. Actually *look* at the mountains. Breathe in the fresh, alpine air. Talk to the Schniders (who, by the way, are infinitely more interesting than your Instagram feed). You might even… gasp… enjoy yourself. But yes, there's wifi. Don't expect miracles.
Is it good for families? Or more of a romantic getaway kind of place?
It’s… complicated. It leans a bit more towards a slightly more relaxed, perhaps slightly *less* structured, kind of place to visit. If you're bringing small children, it might test your patience. The rooms are small and close together. Mealtimes are, well, let's just say the Schniders are sticklers for punctuality. The cafe is small so children need to be settled. But the flip side? There are endless opportunities for kids to experience the outdoors, running wild, and making memories. The Schniders are welcoming and incredibly accommodating of kids. It's more of a fun place for a more mature teenager, and an amazing place if you're getting away with a partner. I'd recommend it if you can embrace a bit of controlled chaos and a whole load of good food. Basically, you need to know your family. Are they ready for a bit of a bumpy ride, or will they want out the first day?Globetrotter Hotels
