Fort Lauderdale Airport's BEST Kept Secret: Red Carpet Inn Review (You WON'T Believe This!)
Hotel Review: A Messy, Honest, and Ultimately, Somewhat Redeeming Experience
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your average, sanitized hotel review. This is the real deal – the good, the bad, and the downright baffling – from a stay at… well, let's just say a place that had everything listed in the brochure. And boy, did it promise a lot.
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First Impressions & Accessibility (The "Thank God" Moment):
Right off the bat, I need to shout out the accessibility. I'm not a wheelchair user myself, but I travel with someone who is, and the Wheelchair accessible status wasn't just a checkbox, it was real. The elevator was spacious (a godsend!), the facilities for disabled guests were genuinely catered to, and the wide corridors meant no awkward bumping into furniture. Score one for the good guys! The Car park [free of charge] and Car park [on-site] were also huge wins, especially for a place that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. Oh, and the doorman? A charming gentleman who acted like he actually liked his job. A rarity! The check-in/out [express] option was a bonus, although, let's face it, I kinda missed the slow, drawn-out process because it gave me time to observe everything.
Internet: The Modern Traveler's Heartbeat (or, Lack Thereof):
Alright, let's address the elephant in the room: the Wi-Fi! They boasted Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! and Internet access – wireless. But honestly? It was… patchy. Like, "dial-up in 2023" patchy. The Internet [LAN] option felt like a relic from a bygone era, and I’m guessing it was probably being powered by hamsters on tiny treadmills the speed was so bad. The Wi-Fi in public areas fared only slightly better. I ended up wandering the lobby, looking for a decent signal, like a lost soul searching for salvation. I mean, I needed to upload my Instagram stories of, you know, the amazing Pool with a view… which I'm getting to.
Rooms: A Mixed Bag of Comfort and… Mystery:
My room was… fine. It had Air conditioning, which was a life-saver considering the heat. The Blackout curtains were a godsend for sleeping in, and the Bed was comfy enough. High floor meant great views (when the Wi-Fi let me upload a photo!), but the Internet access – wireless was a complete failure. The Bathroom was clean and had the required amenities, including the hair dryer and complimentary tea (the essential condiments!). Alarm clock worked great even when Wi-fi didn't. The extra long bed was good. The mini bar was a tempting source of refreshments, but I felt guilty opening it! The in-room safe box. It could have been worse. The complimentary tea was nice. The desk was large enough for my laptop. The separate shower/bathtub was surprisingly comfortable.
But then there were the… quirks. The Room decorations were… questionable. Think a mismatched collection of floral paintings and something that resembled a taxidermied squirrel. No idea, honestly. And while they boasted Non-smoking rooms, I swear there was a faint whiff of something… else. The Soundproofing was also a lie. I could hear my neighbor's entire phone conversation (and his very loud sneezes!). Anyway, the Window that opens was a nice touch.
(Rambling Alert!)
Oh, and one evening, I tried to order room service. The menu was extensive, highlighting the Room service [24-hour]. Honestly? It took 45 minutes for a club sandwich, and when it arrived it was… well, it wasn't exactly a culinary masterpiece. The fries were soggy, the bread was stale, and the whole thing tasted, honestly, like it had been crafted by a team of highly trained… hamsters.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Gastronomic Adventure (Or, the Lack Thereof):
Okay, the Restaurants were plentiful. Restaurants! They had, in total, at least four! There was an A la carte in restaurant, a Buffet in restaurant, a Vegetarian restaurant, and a Poolside bar. But the quality was… inconsistent. The Breakfast [buffet] was massive, a sprawling landscape of eggs, bacon, and pastries, but the eggs were rubbery, and the coffee tasted like dirty dishwater. The Asian breakfast was much better. As was the Asian cuisine in restaurant. The Coffee shop was pretty okay for a drink. The Happy hour made up for a lot, though. Oh, and the Happy hour was also good! I have to say, the Poolside bar had the best drinks. The Bottle of water was a welcome sight, and the Coffee/tea in restaurant hit the spot. The Desserts in restaurant were divine, thankfully! The International cuisine in restaurant was… passable. The Soup in restaurant was like, the best soup I’ve ever tasted. It could have been the alcohol, though.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Paradise… with a Side of Disappointment:
Now, this is where things got interesting. The Swimming pool [outdoor] was beautiful, with a stunning Pool with view. I spent hours lounging by the pool, attempting to forget the internet woes. The Fitness center was a decent size, although the equipment looked like it hadn't been updated since the late 90s. The Sauna and Steamroom were clean and relaxing. And the Spa/sauna was gorgeous! I got the Massage - it was heavenly! The Body scrub was nice. I missed the Foot bath because I was too busy watching the clouds. I didn't try the Body wrap, though.
Cleanliness & Safety: The Saving Grace?
Okay, I'm going to be honest: I went into this stay with some… trepidation. But I have to give them credit: they took the COVID stuff seriously. There was Staff trained in safety protocol, Daily disinfection in common areas, and Hand sanitizer everywhere. The Rooms sanitized between stays, and they even offered Room sanitization opt-out available. The Anti-viral cleaning products seemed to be doing their job. There were Smoke alarms, Fire extinguisher, CCTV in common areas, and the whole thing felt… safe. I appreciated the Cashless payment service and the ease of the Contactless check-in/out. They still had the Hygiene certification. The Sanitized kitchen and tableware items were a relief.
Services & Conveniences: A Confusing Hodgepodge:
They really packed in the services. The Concierge was helpful, the Daily housekeeping was thorough, and the Laundry service and Dry cleaning were convenient. There were Meeting/banquet facilities, Indoor venue for special events, the Outdoor venue for special events might have been nice, but the Internet was a problem. They really did have everything, including the Gift/souvenir shop. But the sheer volume of options felt overwhelming. Like, did they even need a Shrine? The Babysitting service and Family/child friendly vibes were excellent, though.
For the Kids:
They were pretty darn good at this. The Kids facilities included a pool, games room, playground - the works!
The Verdict (Finally!):
Would I return? Hmm. That's a tough one. If you forgive the spotty Wi-Fi and the occasional culinary misstep, there's a lot to love. The location was great, the staff was generally friendly and helpful, the pool was fantastic, and the spa was divine. The accessibility also gets a gold star.
But the imperfections… they linger. It’s a place with real potential, just… a little rough around the edges. Maybe with a bit more attention to detail, and a very serious investment in their internet infrastructure, it could be an amazing experience. As it stands, it's a messy, imperfect, and often frustrating stay. But one that, weirdly, I still kind of enjoyed. So, yeah, I wouldn't rule out a return visit. Just… bring a hotspot. And maybe your own snacks. And definitely a book to read, because good luck streaming anything!
Sheraton Milwaukee Brookfield: Your Dream Wisconsin Getaway Awaits!
Okay, here's my attempt at a Red Carpet Inn Fort Lauderdale itinerary. Buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your sanitized travel brochure. It's more like… my brain during a Tuesday afternoon. (And let me tell you, that’s a WILD ride.)
Red Carpet Inn Fort Lauderdale: A Symphony of Slightly-Off Notes (and Maybe Sunburn)
(Disclaimer: I am NOT responsible for any existential crises you might experience while reading this. You've been warned.)
Day 1: Arrival and the Art of Avoiding the "Welcome to Hell" Vibe
1:00 PM - Arrival at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport (FLL): Okay, let's be honest, airport arrivals are a gamble. Will baggage claim be a joyous reunion with your belongings? Or will it be a soul-crushing waiting game punctuated by the silent judgment of fellow travelers? Today, thankfully, it's the former. My suitcase, bless its weary little heart, appears. Whew. Disaster averted.
- Anecdote: I almost tripped over one of those airport "moving walkways" – the ones that look like they're going to whisk you away to paradise but really just… move. Apparently, I'm not as coordinated as I think I am.
1:45 PM - Uber to Red Carpet Inn: The Uber driver, bless his soul, was blasting some questionable reggaeton. I tried to be cool, nodding along, but I think my face gave away my true feelings. (Spoiler alert: I hate reggaeton.) The ride was a blur of strip malls and palm trees – quintessential Florida, right?
2:30 PM - Check-in at the Red Carpet Inn: Okay, here's where things get… interesting. The lobby smelled faintly of chlorine and desperation. The woman behind the counter? Could've been a mannequin, she made no eye contact. I was half expecting the room to be haunted, but it turned out just to be… basic. Bed, TV, questionable carpet. Welcome home.
Quirky Observation: The vending machine near the lobby had a single bag of salt and vinegar chips. The universe is telling me something.
3:00 PM - Room Reconnaissance and Existential Dread: Let's assess the damage. The air conditioning is… powerful. Maybe too powerful. I could hang meat in here. Also, the view from my window? A parking lot. Pure, unadulterated parking lot.
Emotional Reaction: A wave of "Is this my life?" washes over me. It's the kind of feeling that makes you question all your life choices. Then I remember the salty goodness of the chips, and I'm fine. (For now.)
4:00 PM - Poolside Ambitions (and the Reality of My Pale Skin): Time to hit the pool! I envision myself lounging, gracefully sipping a cocktail, looking effortlessly glamorous. The reality? I'm a pasty-white tourist, clinging to the edge, terrified of sunburn, and contemplating the aerodynamics of a pool noodle.
- Rambling: Okay, pools. They’re fascinating, right? You've got the chlorine, the questionable tile grout, the inevitable rogue kid cannonballing in your general direction… Why, human civilization is a tapestry of questionable choices
5:00 PM - The Quest for Dinner: I stumble out of pool-adjacent zone, and into the blinding Florida sun. I need FOOD. Fast. I google for "nearby restaurants that aren't a chain." The pickings are… slim. I consider ordering Pizza, it’s a safe bet.
7:00 PM - Pizza Perfection (or Close Enough): The pizza is… acceptable. The staff looks like they were summoned from whatever is nearest to hell.
Opinionated Language: Okay, I'll be honest, the pizza wasn't exactly life-changing. But it filled a hole in my stomach and that's what really counts. The waitress was probably having a bad day, too; I just left her a tip and minded my own business.
Day 2: Beach Bliss (and Maybe Regret)
8:00 AM - Breakfast: The Complimentary (and Questionable) Continental: The "continental" breakfast at the hotel is… a collection of pre-packaged pastries, instant coffee, and orange juice the color of radioactive waste. I grab a day-old croissant (it's the "least" offensive choice), force down some coffee, and try to pretend I'm not slowly dying inside.
9:00 AM - Beach Bound! A taxi to the beach. Sunscreen, water, towel, etc.
Messier Structure and Occasional Rambles: Beach time! I LOVE the beach. Until I hate it. Sand gets everywhere, the sun is evil, and the ocean is full of things that want to bite you. But still! The salty air, the crashing waves… there's something undeniably magical about it.
9:30 AM - Sun Worship and the Sand Invasion: I find a spot, set up my (borrowed) sun umbrella, slather myself in SPF 50, and try to relax. The sun is relentless. The sand… well, let's just say I'll be finding it in my ears for weeks.
- Doubling Down on a Single Experience: Okay, I get it. People love the beach. And I get it, really I do. But for me? It's a love-hate relationship. I start out thinking, "This is amazing! The waves! The breeze!" Then the sand starts to creep in, the sun starts to bake, and I find myself fantasizing about a climate-controlled room and a good book. At least, I'm not one of those people who forgets to reapply sunblock. I'm practically a scientist when it came to sun protection.
- Emotionally Charged Reactions: The waves are incredible. The ocean's so blue. My back is starting to burn. I am going to get a sunburn. I am going to die.
12:00 PM - Lunch: Beachside Bites (and a Moment of Pure Joy): I find a beachfront shack. They serve fish tacos. And cold beer. Happiness achieved. I just sit there, eating my fish tacos, watching the waves. Pure bliss.
- (Stream-of-Consciousness) Fish tacos! So good. Beer! So refreshing. This is almost… perfect. I almost feel like maybe I could exist forever at this exact moment. Maybe. Oh, nope, the sun is moving. Gotta reapply sunscreen.
2:00 PM - The Great Sun Escape: The sun has won. My skin is starting to singe. I retreat, looking as if I've just survived an atomic blast.
3:00 PM - Back to the Room: Regroup. A cold shower and a nap. It's the only way.
6:00 PM - Dinner and the Search for Culture: I try to find a place to eat that isn't fast food. Eventually, I happen upon a local place serving seafood and some decent cocktails.
8:00 PM - Entertainment: The bar nearby has live music. I sip my drink, listen to the music, and consider going to bed at 9 pm.
Day 3: Departure (and a Promise to Maybe Return, Someday)
8:00 AM - Farewell Breakfast (Same as Before): The complimentary breakfast makes its reappearance. I steel myself for another round of mystery pastries and questionable coffee.
9:00 AM - Last-Minute Souvenir Shopping (or Attempt Thereof): I dash around the hotel lobby looking for something. Anything. I grab a keychain. I'll probably lose it in a week.
10:00 AM - Check-Out and the Journey to FLL: The checkout is even more efficient than the check-in. I get a taxi back to the airport.
11:00 AM - Airport Rituals: The security line is as long as my arm. I get through, get to the gate, and get a seat in the airport.
Stronger Emotional Reactions (good or bad): I am ready to go home.
1:00 PM - Takeoff and Reflections: As the plane takes off, I look out the window at the mess of Fort Lauderdale. I'm not sure if this trip was a smashing success or a slightly sunburned disaster. But, hey… it was an experience. Would I come back? Maybe. Probably not the Red Carpet Inn, though.
Rambling: Next time, I'm getting a room with a pool view. And maybe… just maybe… I'll learn to love reggaeton. (Just kidding. I'd rather eat a mountain of sand.)
So, like, what *are* FAQs anyway? And why should *I*, the oh-so-important person, care?
Alright, alright, settle down, superstar. FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) are essentially the digital version of that slightly-burnt-coffee-stained bulletin board your grandma used to have in the kitchen. They're supposed to answer the questions everyone's buzzing about. Think of them as the internet's way of saying, "Hey, we know you're confused! Let's try to fix that before you start yelling at your screen." And why should *you* care? Well, unless you're into endless scrolling and head-scratching, FAQs are your shortcut to sanity. They save you from wading through a swamp of misinformation and, let's be honest, a lot of website bloat. They're often the difference between getting answers and wanting to throw your laptop out the window. Trust me, I’ve been there. More times than I'd care to admit.
Okay, fine. They sound… useful. But how do I *actually* find them? I swear, some websites hide them better than my car keys.
The struggle is REAL, my friend. Finding FAQs can feel like a digital Easter egg hunt. Generally, you'll find them in a few usual suspects. Look for a link that says "FAQ," "Frequently Asked Questions," "Help," "Support," or sometimes, hilariously, "About." Don't judge, sometimes it's hidden in plain sight. They might be in the footer of the website, that often-overlooked area at the very bottom, or tucked away in the navigation bar. If you're still lost, try using the website's search bar. Yep, the one you *should* be using. You can type in keywords like "shipping," "returns," or even "I'm confused." Don’t be shy! The ultimate last resort? Channel your inner detective and Google: "website name + FAQ" (or "website name + support"). I once spent *a week* trying to find the FAQ on a specific travel site. Seriously. A WEEK. Don’t let my pain be your pain.
What if the FAQs are, like, useless? Like, just a bunch of generic fluff that doesn't actually answer my question?
Oh, honey, I feel you. Those FAQs are the bane of my digital existence. It's like the website designers outsourced the writing to a robot that only consumes corporate jargon. If the FAQs are as helpful as a screen door on a submarine, you've got a few options. First, try searching for specific keywords *within* the FAQ page. CTRL+F (or Command+F on a Mac) is your best friend. Next, look for a contact form, email address, or, in a stroke of luck, a live chat. Even better, if they've got customer service, call them! Even if you hate talking on the phone, it’s sometimes worth it - I still remember that one time a customer service rep *laughed* at my question regarding a return! (Long story, involving a particularly stubborn fruit basket, but I digress…) The more you can provide them with the specifics of what you're looking for, the easier it is to find a good, human response. Good luck, and godspeed.
Alright, let's say I *write* FAQs. What's the secret sauce to making them actually, you know, *helpful* and not just generic?
Ah, you’re joining the ranks of the FAQ-writing elite! (Okay, maybe not elite, but you're trying, and that's what counts!). The secret ingredient? Actually understanding your audience. Think like your target, not like a robot. Answer the questions *they* are asking, not the ones you *think* they *should* be asking. Use plain, clear language – ditch the industry lingo unless absolutely necessary. Break up long blocks of text with headings (like I'm doing here!), bullet points, and, if possible, images or videos. And, for the love of all that is holy, keep the answers *short*. People have the attention spans of goldfish on a caffeine rush. Finally, update your FAQs regularly! Information goes stale faster than a week-old baguette. If you're selling a product, keep an eye on any bad customer reviews. They can often provide insight into some of the common problems customers have. Don't forget to give it the occasional re-write!
Okay, I’m officially FAQ-ed out. Any final words of wisdom?
Yes. Embrace the messiness. The internet is a wild place, and FAQs are just one small, slightly-organized corner of it. Don't be afraid to ask questions, even if they seem silly. People are out there, ready to answer, even if it takes some digging. And remember, the best FAQs are the ones that actually make life a little bit easier, one confused click at a time. And hey, if you're really stuck, send me a message. I'll probably be online… somewhere, trying to find the FAQs for a particularly elusive online furniture store. We can suffer together.
