Rede Andrade Guaira Curitiba: Your Connection to Brazilian Excellence
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the Rede Andrade Guaira Curitiba – a hotel that promises a Brazilian experience. And you know what? After spending a few chaotic and surprisingly delightful days there, I'm ready to spill the beans. This isn't gonna be a sterile, bullet-point review. Think of it more as me, rambling after a strong cup of Brazilian coffee (which, by the way, was amazing).
First, a disclaimer: my Portuguese is… non-existent. So, navigating the hotel's nuances was a grand adventure of pointing, grinning, and hoping for the best.
Accessibility: The Good, the Slightly Less Good, and the "Oh, Brazil!"
They DO have wheelchair accessibility. That's a huge plus, and something I really appreciate. But let's be real, Brazil isn't exactly known for its flawlessly smooth sidewalks. So, getting to the hotel and then around it might require a little grit (and maybe a helpful stranger or two). The hotel itself seemed pretty accommodating though, with elevators and ramps where needed, which is a big step in the right direction.
On-site Munchies and Libations: Food, Glorious Food (and Drinks!)
Okay, let's talk about the important stuff: the food and the booze.
- Restaurants & Lounges: They have a few options. A proper restaurant with a buffet and a la carte, a coffee shop and a bar by the pool. Honestly, I lived in the bar. I’m not proud, but I had a phenomenal time.
- Variety: They have a range of cuisines, Brazilian, western, Asian, which to me meant "Good luck figuring out what the hell it actually is!". But hey, the buffet has EVERYTHING. Seriously. EVERYTHING. I swear, I saw a whole roasted… thing. I’m not even sure what it was. But it looked impressive.
- The Buffet: This is chaos, and glorious chaos. Rows of food tempt you, and you will overeat. I may have had four plates of the feijoada (Brazilian black bean stew). Don't judge me. Also, the breakfast buffet! It's a whirlwind of pastries, fruit, eggs, and more. I’m convinced I gained five pounds just looking at it.
- Happy Hour: Essential! I'm a sucker for a good happy hour, and this hotel does not disappoint. Caipirinhas were a must. They’re lethal, delicious, and the perfect way to end a day of… well, whatever you're doing in Curitiba.
- Room service? 24/7… That is all.
Wellness and Relaxation: Where I (Tried) to Chill
- Spa & Sauna: They had a spa! And a sauna! And… I somehow missed it. Time got away from me. I think I was too busy enjoying the aforementioned happy hour. So, I can't give you a firsthand account here. My bad.
- Pool with a View: Yes! The pool was nice, perfect for a quick dip to cool off after a long flight.
- Fitness Center: Did I go to the gym? I think I walked past it once. Let's just say, no. My fitness routine involved walking to the bar.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Safe (Despite My Chaos)
- COVID-19 Safety Features: They were on it. Hand sanitizer everywhere, staff masked up. They had all the proper precautions, which made me feel comfortable. Plenty of sanitizing, and I think they were even using Anti-viral cleaning products.
- Staff Training: The staff seemed well-trained. At least in sanitizing. They wiped down everything.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter (Especially When Your Portuguese Fails)
- Concierge: A lifesaver. Especially when trying to figure out how to get to the botanical gardens (which, by the way, you must go see). He even drew me a map. A beautifully chaotic map, but a map nonetheless.
- Cash Withdrawal: There was a cash machine. Because, you know, I ate a lot of things.
- Luggage Storage: Yes! Phew!
- Elevator: Also, yes. Thank god.
- Daily Housekeeping: Yes, And they do a pretty good job. My room always felt clean and fresh.
Rooms: My Chaotic Sanctuary
- The Bed: Comfortable. Very comfortable. I slept like a baby, which is saying something considering the amount of caffeine I ingested.
- Blackout Curtains: Essential for battling Brazilian sunshine (and post-happy hour naps).
- Air Conditioning: Thank the heavens! Curitiba can get hot, and with this, I was able to survive.
- Wi-Fi: Free and mostly reliable. You're not coming here for the internet speed of the century, but it worked well enough to check emails and post envy-inducing pictures.
- The Bathroom: Standard, but fine. Hot water, good pressure. What else do you need?
- And the best feature? The window that opens! Breathe in that fresh Brazilian air, you beautiful animal.
Entertainment and Activities: Exploring Curitiba (Or Just Drinking More)
- Things to do: Curitiba has a lot to offer (botanical garden, opera house, etc.). I did some of it, and some of it I didn't.
- Things to do: They had some facilities for kids.
- Getting Around: They of course offered Airport transfer, Taxi service, and Car park.
- Proposals Spot. Wow, someone really wants to get married in the hotel.
The Downsides (Because Nothing's Perfect)
- Limited English: While some staff spoke English, it wasn't universal. This led to some hilarious misunderstandings (like the time I accidentally ordered a whole plate of pickled onions).
- It's a Hotel: This may seem obvious, but it's not a boutique hotel. It's efficient, it's comfortable, but it's not necessarily overflowing with "character."
- The Pricey Drinks: Okay, I wasn't expecting cheap drinks. But, in the bar, the charges for the Caipirinhas started hurting eventually.
Overall Impression: Would I Go Back? Absolutely!
The Rede Andrade Guaira Curitiba isn't perfect – far from it. But that's part of its charm. It's a solid, comfortable, well-located hotel. It is a decent base for exploring the city, and has enough amenities to keep you happy. The staff are friendly and helpful (even if we couldn't always understand each other). And the buffet? Well, that alone is worth the trip.
SEO/Metadata Breakdown (because… why not?)
- Keywords: Curitiba hotel, Brazil hotel, Rede Andrade Guaira, hotel review, accessibility, spa, restaurant, pool, wifi, Curitiba attractions, family friendly hotel, airport transfer.
- Meta Description: Honest and humorous review of the Rede Andrade Guaira Curitiba hotel. Featuring accessibility, dining, amenities, and the chaotic beauty of a Brazilian experience.
This review is for the love of it. I hope you enjoyed it!
Escape to Paradise: Hotel Italia & Lombardi's Montefiascone Magic
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your sanitized, perfectly-planned travel itinerary. This is my trip to Rede Andrade Guaira in Curitiba, Brazil, and it's going to be a glorious, messy, slightly-unhinged adventure. Consider yourselves warned. Day 1: Arrival and the Airport Shuffle – Or, How I Almost Lost My Mind Before Noon.
- Morning (6:00 AM): Ugh. Flight. Airports. The unholy trinity of travel anxiety. Land at Afonso Pena International Airport (CWB). I'd packed my "I'm-going-to-be-anxious-and-sweaty" outfit, so I started with a damp t-shirt under my jacket. Great start.
- Morning (8:00 AM): Finding the transport: Taxi, Uber I was weighing the option. The Uber app was playing games or I was still half-asleep.
- Morning (9:00 AM): FINALLY! Arrived at the Rede Andrade Guaira. The hotel looked…okay. The lobby smelled faintly of old people and clean disinfectant, a classic hotel combo. Check-in went smoothly, other than my frantic search for outlets to recharge my phone (Instagram waits for no one!). The room…it was a room. A slightly small room.
- Morning (10:00 AM): Breakfast. The hotel breakfast buffet…it was like a culinary battleground. I'm not a morning person, but I figured I should get something in my stomach. I was overwhelmed by the options. Was that…fruit? Was that…cheese? Did I want to risk the mystery meat? I went for the safe option – a bread roll and way too much coffee. I am not impressed honestly.
- Midday (12:00 PM): First foray into Curitiba. Walking around the hotel. Found a cafe. I ordered my first Brazilian coffee. The guy behind the counter was cute. I don't know Portuguese, so I just smiled and nodded. He clearly understood the language of a tourist. My stomach was still in knots even after having a coffee.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Okay, fine. Let's DO this.
Day 2: The Botanical Garden and My Existential Crisis with a Fern.
- Morning (9:00 AM): Botanical Garden! After a fitful night's sleep filled with dreams of misplaced luggage and language barriers, I decided to seek beauty. The Botanical Garden is the postcard of Curitiba, right? (Picture time!) I got there. It's lovely and very photogenic. A real Instagram's playground.
- Morning (11:00 AM): I went for a stroll. I was overwhelmed by the plants and the sheer beauty. There's a guy sitting on a bench, looking like he’s been thinking about life for like 20 years. I just wanted to say “I’m the same, buddy," but, of course, the language barrier held me back.
- Midday (1:00 PM): I spent far too long staring at one particular fern. It was a truly remarkable fern. Lush. Green. And it made me think about my life choices. The very nature of time and existence. Then a kid ran past, yelling something in Portuguese. I was yanked out of my philosophical spiral, which I’m not sure whether to be grateful for or not.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM): Lunch. Found a little local place, with the cutest little old lady running it. She seemed very concerned when I started gesturing wildly at the menu, but eventually, I pointed at something that looked vaguely edible. It was…chicken. And rice. And beans. And it was surprisingly delicious and cheap. This is how you do it.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): Back to the hotel, for a power nap. I think the whole existential crisis thing really wore me out.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Dinner at some place near the hotel. The pasta was overcooked, but the wine was good. And I really needed that wine.
Day 3: The Train Ride, The Panic, and the (Maybe?) Revelation.
- Morning (8:00 AM): The Serra Verde Express train. Yes. It’s supposed to be stunning. I was excited. Mostly.
- Morning (9:00 AM): The train left. Okay, beautiful scenery. It's gorgeous and I got that, but there were too many people! I couldn't get a good photo. I can't get a good shot!
- Midday (12:00 PM): The train ride was really, really long. And I got hungry.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): Okay, I'm over it. I would prefer for the train to just arrive.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): We arrived. I was so glad. It was amazing, it's an amazing place to see, it was so fun.
Day 4: Embracing the Chaos (and the Food)
- Morning (9:00 AM): The local market. So many smells, so many colors, so many things I couldn't identify! I bought a weird-looking fruit and ate it on the spot. The taste was indescribable. I suspect I’ll be talking about it for years.
- Midday (12:00 PM): More food. (Food makes everything better, yes?) Found a restaurant, the food was delicious. I just ate. The end.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): I met some locals. Through a very awkward combination of broken Portuguese, frantic hand gestures, and pure luck, I actually managed to have a conversation. We talked about life, love, and the best places to get Brazilian beer. Their laughter was infectious, and for the first time, I felt like I was actually there, not just observing.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Going to the hotel and relax, Tomorrow I am going Home.
Day 5: The Goodbye (and the Promises to Return).
- Morning (9:00 AM): Check-out. I had to say goodbye. I am very sad.
- Midday (11:00 PM): I am at the airport. Waiting for the flight. I am thinking about everything I have experienced.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): I looked back. I am going to come back.
Overall Feelings:
It wasn't perfect. There were moments of frustration, anxiety, and sheer bewilderment. I didn’t master any Portuguese. I ate some questionable food. I may have had a mild existential crisis involving a fern. But it was also…amazing. Curitiba, Brazil, is a place that's got under my skin. I'll never forget it. And I’m already planning my return.
Escape to the Black Forest: Luxury at Auerhahn B&B, Waldhotel Eisenbach
Rede Andrade Guaira Curitiba: Your Connection to Brazilian... Well, *Something*
Okay, I'm sold! What's the *actual* address? Because, honestly, I'm terrible with directions.
Alright, friend, you're in luck. I’m also perpetually lost. It's at R. dos Vinte e Quatro de Maio, 870 - Centro, Curitiba - PR, 80230-080, Brazil. See? Even *I* remembered it! Just kidding (mostly). Google Maps is your best friend here. Seriously, print out the map, memorize it, send it to your phone, bribe a taxi driver... do whatever it takes. Curitiba's a beautiful city, but getting lost is also part of the fun (and sometimes, the sheer terror of a wrong turn).
So, is it *actually* in a good location? I want to see stuff, you know, but don't want to wander into a dodgy alley at 2 AM.
Okay, this is *crucial*. The Guaira is, thankfully, decently located. It's *in* the Centro, which means you're surrounded by... well, Centro-y things. Museums, theaters (including the Teatro Guaira itself, hence the name!), shops, restaurants... all within a reasonable walk or quick taxi ride. Is it *perfectly* safe at 2 AM? Let's be realistic, nowhere's *perfectly* safe at 2 AM, especially if you're waving around a wad of cash and shouting about how much you love caipirinhas. But generally, you're in a pretty okay spot for exploring. Just be smart. Don't flash your bling, be aware of your surroundings, and maybe don't try to haggle *too* aggressively for that souvenir at 3 AM. Trust me on this.
What kind of rooms can I expect? Are we talking bare-bones budget or… something a little nicer?
Alright, buckle up, because this is where it can get a *little* fuzzy. The Guaira is… well, it's a bit of a mixed bag. Think somewhere in the "comfortable but not luxurious" zone. Expect standard hotel rooms – clean, with the essentials. Don't go expecting a jacuzzi tub and a view of the Copacabana. You're in Curitiba, not Rio! The rooms are generally well-maintained, but you might occasionally find a slightly wonky light switch or a slightly-less-than-state-of-the-art TV. (Hey, it's part of the charm, right? *Right?*). The beds are usually fine, the aircon works (praise the sun!), and you've got a private bathroom. It does the job. It's not going to blow your mind, but it's not going to make you want to flee screaming either. (Unless you’re *really* picky – then you might be screaming a *little.*)
Is breakfast included? And if so, is it any good? Because I *need* my morning coffee.
Yes! *Usually*, breakfast is included. But always double-check that when you book, because those things can change. And the breakfast? Okay, this is where things get… interesting. Expect a classic Brazilian breakfast buffet. Plenty of fresh fruit (mangoes! Papayas! Bliss!), pastries, bread rolls, cheese, ham, scrambled eggs, maybe some tapioca (get it!), and coffee! The coffee is the most important part. Pray it's good. It usually is. And if it’s not? There's always a strategically placed espresso machine or, God forbid, instant coffee sachets. Don't judge. Desperate times, remember? The buffet is generally enough to fuel your exploration of Curitiba, and the relaxed atmosphere helps. Just try not to arrive *too* late, or you'll be battling the last-minute grazers. (I've seen it happen.)
Are there any other amenities? Like, a gym? WiFi? Parking?
Alright, let's talk about what you DON'T get. Probably not a swimming pool. Definitely not a Michelin-starred chef (unless you’re *really* lucky). The Guaira, as I recall, doesn't have a gym. So, if you're a fitness fanatic, you might have to do some push-ups in your room or find a nearby park. The WiFi? Well, it *exists*. It's usually functional, but don’t expect streaming-quality speeds. It *is* Curitiba, not the bleeding edge of technology after all. Parking exists, but it might cost you a bit extra. Double-check that one when you book. Always. They're not always super clear about the parking situation… sometimes you get a spot and sometimes you get the "park on the street and pray" experience. Which, depending on your luck, can be either exhilarating or terrifying. (Mostly terrifying.)
What’s the staff like? Are they helpful? Do they speak English? (My Portuguese is… lacking.)
The staff… ah, the staff! This is where the Guaira *really* shines! Generally, they're friendly and helpful. They're used to dealing with tourists, so they *usually* speak some English, or at least enough to get by. Be patient! They're probably working incredibly hard. A little bit of effort on your part – even a few basic Portuguese phrases – will go a long way. Learn "obrigado/a" (thank you) and "por favor" (please)! Trust me, it'll make your life *so* much easier and you'll get a much better reception. I vividly remember one time when I was trying to explain a problem with my room. My Portuguese was *atrocious*, a mangled mess of nouns and verbs that bore little resemblance to actual conversation. The staff member, bless her soul, just kept smiling and nodding, even as I rambled on about… well, I’m not entirely sure *what* I was talking about. Eventually, we figured it out. Sometimes, the language barrier leads to hilarious misunderstandings. That's part of the fun, right?
Anything I should be aware of before I go? Any hidden costs? Any red flags?
Alright, here's the *real* talk. Read the fine print when you book. Seriously. Always. Things like the parking fees and any extra charges for things like late check-out *can* surprise you. Always double-check what's included in your rate and if you're unsure, ask. Don't be afraid to ask questions. It’s *your* money.
My *biggest* piece of advice: check the reviews! Read the recent ones. See what people are saying about the current state of things. Things change! Hotels renovate or fall into disrepair. The breakfast might be legendary or it might be… less so. The reviews are your friend.
And… patience. Things move a little slower in Brazil (and in the Guaira, even more so). Embrace it! The charm is in the imperfections. If things go wrong (and they might!), try to roll with it. A little flexibility goes a long way. And, hey, if all else fails, there's alwaysAround The World Hotels
Rede Andrade Guaira Curitiba Brazil
Rede Andrade Guaira Curitiba Brazil
